Through My Eyes

Recently I was witness to a tragic life drama. I came face to face with a man who decided to end it all. His desperate situation at home drove him to madness. He was becoming a burden on his already financially struggling extended family and he saw no purpose in his future. He also happened to be a hopeless alcoholic.

The man had lost his house, his wife had gone mad and needed to be institutionalised and his employer gave him his notice.

Look his life was in a total mess, and he knew it. So one day he went to the local store in my small Polish village and proceeded to drink his troubles away in minus twenty-two degrees. When the owner of the store found him a couple of hours later, he was close to death.

Knowing that the police had dealt with his suicidal bouts already on a number of occasions and threatened him with imprisonment, the owner took the man to his sister's house who lives across the road from me and who is my friend.

The man's laments could be heard across the entire valley. He truly did not want to live. Crying he begged his sister to let him die to leave him outside in the freezing snow, he did not want to be a burden to anyone anymore. He assured her that it was the only way to resolve the mess that he had created.

His sister lovingly took his snow drenched clothes off, dressed him in fluffy pyjamas and put him to bed making a joke of his 'silly' suicide attempt, saying to him "You need to die like a prostitute needs panties". In this whole desperate situation I had to giggle and so did he, kind of.

Through the tears and the wise jokes my friend managed to get her brother to bed and asleep. Exhausted she also went to bed, only to find that he got up in the middle of the night and cleaned her out of all the alcohol she had in the house, she found him outside in the snow unconscious but still breathing.

She had no choice but to admit him, with a heavy heart she drove him to a rehabilitation centre, finally coming to terms that she would not be able to protect him from himself and that he was so desperate to die that eventually he might get it right.

Alcohol is a major killer in our society, no matter where we come from and it has a tendency to do enormous damage when abused. In the recent years I have seen the devastation it leaves in its wake and I have tremendous respect for it. This experience has sealed my understanding that alcohol is dangerous and only a few can really handle its potent wrath.

It is so hard to understand that while most of us are doing all we can to survive, there are some who see no point in it all and want to end their lives. Even in the darkest situation there is always an option better suicide. At that point it may not be clear to the one suffering but hope is eternal. Nothing can be more precious than life. Let's celebrate and live with all our hearts!