Through My Eyes

So what happened?

Lets be frank, many of the problems that plague women today are not due to government policies or overt gender discrimination.

They cannot be resolved solely by money and they are not caused only by men. Instead, the problems we face are of a more subtle nature.

They originate partly in the media, partly from society, partly from biology, and partly from our own vastly unrealistic expectations.

The only way that we, the women of the world, will ever fully solve the "women's problem" is by recognizing the quest for perfection for what it is: a mere myth.

Lets be honest with ourselves and admit that no woman can have it all, regardless how hard we try to be the person everyone wants us to be while attempting to maintain some kind of individuality.

Today, part of what keeps women from the top ranks of their professions is a fear that they will not perform well enough; a suspicion, usually ungrounded, that they are not fully qualified for the job.

Part of what makes us unhappy at home is a related fear that we are not quite good enoughÑthat our children didn't practice piano for at least two hours a day, that our closets are a mess, and the cupcakes we brought to the bake sale weren't entirely homemade.

It's madness. Let me be clear. If women want to have both families and jobs; if they want, even, to have fast-paced jobs without children or fast-paced children without jobs, something has to give.

Our mothers strove so hard to be perfect that they too often believed they had failed even when they had succeeded. It's time we embraced our imperfections, our partners in life, our children, our work, and our personal interests. It's time for laughter, honesty, and the bravery it takes to share work and pleasure, and a little bit of ourselves, with others.

As a woman who felt she has "had it all" I can say that it is defeatist to assume we can't raise the children, build a terrific professional life for ourselves, and have a great partner to share it with. Why not?

Our lives might not be someone's definition of "perfect" but we humans weren't created to be perfect.

Have you ever found a perfect person?

If you think you have, you are deluding yourself. You have likely just found someone who is really good at something you lack. It doesn't mean that they don't have their own deficiencies.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing immoral in striving to be better, even in striving toward a vision of perfection. That quest can bring out the best in us.

My advice to you is, stop reading the fashion magazines and trying to be physically perfect.

Stop listening to the latest health guru that imposes a diet no real people can abide by at home.

Stop listening to the 'mommy mafia' who tell you how to raise your children.

You have two choices: either do what's necessary to create some balance in your life, or stop complaining. Do both.

Believe that you have the power; and flip the switch.