Through My Eyes

I have been in a contemplative state for the past couple of days. The realisation of helplessness overwhelmed me. Don't get me wrong, the helplessness was not something negative, it was something good and pure. For the first time in a long time I have realised that I am helpless over people's actions but I do not have to be helpless over my reactions.

It was a simple and clear decision but it resonated with my state of mind. It had something to do with bumping into a complete stranger, on one cold evening, in a dark frosty garden in the Rosetta Hotel. He was an ex Zimbabwean farmer, not much older than me, who twelve years ago immigrated to Botswana.

After sharing some sobering 'home truths' with me, he disappeared into the night never to be seen again. I did not even get his name. That night I struggled to sleep, I kept thinking how powerless we all are in the mess our country finds itself in.

Friday was a serious awakening. Loadshedding happened three times in one day. As I rushed home to prepare supper for my family and my ninety two year old father in law, I had no idea that my domestic bliss would be short lived as just after 4pm the power went out again.

So here I am; all my food prepped and ready to cook and "booff" power off. I do not have an app or roster for the loadshedding, I used to get notifications from Eiskom but that stopped and I was told that the loadshedding schedule had nothing to do with actual times that Eskom chooses to switch the power off.

Anyway as I moved the cooking to my wood burning stoves outside, I looked at the inconvenience of it all. But what really got to me was the sheer helplessness I felt at the time.

I tried vocalising it but what came out was just a rant about how unfair it was for families who want to sit together for a Friday dinner, after a whole week of working hard, I so want to come home on a Friday and enjoy the unity of coming together as a unit.

I really started to believe that this whole issue with the loadshedding is our government's way of unbalancing the family unit and taking us away from basic family values, like sitting down to a home cooked meal after long day's work and talking about our day, sharing our challenges and talking about our dreams and aspirations.

The mystery stranger's words rang out in my mind, "Don't be fooled and think you will be spared". And this is where it hit me; Yes I am helpless, and Yes the government can take away the electricity to power my fancy gadgets that help me prepare my meals, they can take away the use of my electric stove but they cannot take away the time with my family.

And so the power came back on after two hours and twenty minutes, just in time for dessert.

It was the first time I understood the magnitude of our demise and it scared me, however realising that I do not have to be powerless in my helplessness, allowed me to move forward.

Loadshedding is affecting all of us in various ways, there are expensive means to solve the problems, and if like me, you cannot throw the thousands of Rands at the problem, just change your approach, and it really did help me.

Maybe these three things we should keep in mind next time we are feeling powerless; Every creature, every person, every thing, every where, makes the very 'best' action, makes the very best choice considering all the information they perceive. Every creature, every person, every thing, every where, is intimately connected to one another, as if it is, one grand organism..The very 'best' action, the very 'best' choice, is the one that considers every creature, every person, every thing, every where to the benefit of one another, as if it is in fact, one grand organism.

Have a beautiful week everyone don't let the loadshedding get you down!

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. - Helen Keller.