Through My Eyes

To their surprise the children's home looked at them with disdain, as if to say, "We do not want your leftovers," and told them to just leave everything in the kitchen. No "thank you" was offered, no gratitude and no appreciation. In fact they felt as though they had done something wrong. Obviously this particular orphanage did not need their charity.

Over the years I have campaigned and collected everything from second hand clothes to jungle gyms. It felt good to give. Through The Bugle I was able to reach a compassionate audience that, just like me, wanted to 'give back'.

While on most occasions my efforts were appreciated, I too had a share of bad experiences, which left me feeling like I was wasting my time. I remember one local charity organiser saying to me that if she sees another "Zimbali mommy" bring her a bag of broken toys she will throw a fit.

"What do they think? Just because these children are poor they must play with broken toys?" she ranted to me. I was shocked, I wanted to explain to her, that my children often played with broken toys and loved it. Sometimes a broken car was just as much fun as a brand new one. But I did not waste my time and just never went back there.

Many of us feel the sense of guilt. We all feel uncomfortable with poverty and adversities, so we try to help. Many charities are grateful for everything they get but they are few and far apart, many specify what they want and how it must be delivered.

A couple of years back my family owned a house in Yeoville that was claimed by a scary and threatening Nigerian drug lord. For a few years we tried, to no avail, to remove the illegal squatter from our home but we were not successful. However we still had to pay rates and service fees on this property. Anyway my mom came up with a brilliant suggestion; "Why not donate the property to the Nelson Mandela Children's Fund."

So she phoned and told them we had this five-bedroom home that was occupied by squatters that we were keen to donate to the organisation. One representative's response to us was that we must sell the house first and then bring them the cash. My mom was not impressed.

So where am I going with this week's column? You might ask.

We so often think that it's our duty to be charitable. We think that by supporting the Rhinos, The Ebola sufferers in Sierra Leone, the earthquake survivors in Nepal and the Red Poppy drive, we are doing the right thing. However occasionally there are organisations that are just a front for some clever money making scheme and our money is just channelled to some fat cat to cover his "admin fees".

While helping others is fundamental to our humanity, we should look closer to home and start the giving process with ourselves. So instead of 67 Minutes for Mandela why not do 67 Minutes for 'ME' - Take it from me, Madiba won't mind.

So be kind to yourself this week, give generously to yourself, be unstinting and charitable to you, because charity does start at home and we do not have to be ashamed to admit it!