Through my eyes

"One of the most tragic things i know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today." Dale Carnegie

There have been so many deaths in the last couple of weeks. It must be the season for dying or something. As much as I shy away from funerals and memorials and wakes and all the self-indulgent sagas surrounding the death of a loved one, I am still caught in the emotional whirlwind of loss.

I am full of grief for friends and family who have recently lost their daughter, sister, mother even though there is a compartment where I can store this grief, right now, its hard to put it all away.

It must be the sad lamenting of the mother who held onto both my hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "No matter how prepared I was for the death of my daughter, nothing could prepare me for the agony of loosing my child."

I have never been big into organised prayer and prefer to pray in private but the prayer we heard from Deacon Mthembu was something that made me stay awake last Saturday night. Deacon Mthembu spoke about death in terms that made it sound very peaceful, he said that our friend who has died was now sleeping and that her soul was roaming in spirit world.

It seems so easy, we close our eyes and go to sleep only to find ourselves on the flip side, floating around in the afterlife oblivious to the pain that stays behind when our bodies cease to function.

That night while the world was sleeping the sleep of the living, I stayed up, my eyes shut tight. Praying to the God above to spare me the pain of loosing a child. But then I thought about 'magical thinking' - magical thinkingis the belief that one's ideas,thoughts, wishes, or actions can influence the course of events in the physical world. It is something people all over the globe engage in, and many religious and folk rituals centre around it.

All night I have been imagining my thoughts turning into magic spells and circling around my sons I believe in magic, I believe in magic a lot and its something that was taught to me as a child. Prayers are said to have magical powers and they are suppose to reflect our connection with God.

Somehow my belief is that it is God's will and God's will alone that can make those seriously astounding decisions; life is governed by His will and He is the only one who can decide when our time on this earth is up and who are we to argue with God

So here's to life no matter how short and wobbly it may appear we are all here for one purpose and one purpose only to make a difference so lets not waste any time, lets do whatever it is we are suppose to do, don't forget to use some magic