Through my eyes

When it comes to protecting our children, most of us out there would kill, rob and lie, do whatever it takes to defend our offspring; it's a natural Homo-sapiens instinct.

What happens when our little bundle of joys grow up and starts acting out, which results in them making serious misjudgements that could cost them everything they - and we - have been working towards, as presented in the Mail & Guardian article last week; "Beyond betrayal: Is redemption possible for a journalist who faked cancer "

Roxanne Joseph is about the same age as my boys, she is a journalist who studied at Wits and went on to work for a non-governmental organisation Section 27. She lied about having cancer for nine months in 2015-16. She has admitted to this, and undergone therapy for a serious mental illness.

Roxanne faked her illness and brought serious pain to all those that knew her, she even wrote a blog describing what its like to go through Chemo as a 20 year old. A few of her friends in solidarity with her sad predicament got similar tattoos, Roxanne's said: "Alive"

In her blogs she was inspiring. "I refuse to let having cancer in my 20s affect my future" became her mantra.

And here is where this story becomes so bitterly sad. Here is this obviously talented girl with her whole future ahead of her. Her parents who are both prominent media figures in South Africa, trying to protect their little girl, tried to cover up the story, which blew up in their face when Roxanne was chosen as a speaker at the African Investigative Journalism Conference, one of the continent's most prestigious journalism events.

The South African media fraternity rebuked, this was completely against the code of conduct, soon Roxanne's name was taken down.

It seems that Roxanne has been completely rehabilitated and is doing well; she is trying to find her place in the world that she so brutally tarnished.

As much as we all want to be credible and truthful, mental illness is very hard to explain, especially to those that have never had to deal with this debilitating disease.

Kids don't stay kids forever, and navigating the dynamics of an adult parent-child relationship can be tricky.

One of the hardest aspects of being a parent is recognizing that your children are their own people, and that no matter how differently you see things - or how much you want to protect them - they get to make life choices of their own.

This world is full of nastiness. Just look around you, how many people are really glad when your children are doing well How many ask about your children's welfare And what happens when your back is turned, their tongues start wagging, it seems as if no one cares about your child's achievements, they rather concentrate on the worst case scenarios and highlight their shortcomings.

I hope Roxanne becomes a strong young woman, who never has to fake health conditions to get anyone's approval and I hope with time people and the industry forgive her for her unfortunate lapse in judgement.